so like im not gonna lie, imo theres something really poetic about andy warhols work being burned in a fire that was largely caused by climate change. from what i remember from my year 13 art history class andy warhols whole deal is that he was depicting the hyper consumerist culture that was happening in america at the time, with the world wars ending and america being like... wealthy n shit. Idk if it was intentional on his part, it couldve been or it couldve been that he was just depicting what was happening around him. anyways this chain of actions feels... complete? like a social experiment decades in the making coming into fruition. idk.

They belonged in a museum! pic.twitter.com/fQYXcMVAOS

— Patrick T Shepherd (@PatrickTShep) January 14, 2025

I saw a youtube video about idk... it mightive been about vivienne westwood it might've not. All that i remember about it is that the creator of the video made a quip about "oh hahaha The Sex Pistols were these punks but they endorsed vivienne westwood who went into high fashion look at how hypocritical they are" which like... fuck you? first of all vivienne westwood wasnt in the high fashion industry at that point so they were just supporting a local fashion designer. sorry that those fuckers didnt have future vision i guess? why do youtubers do this? why do they shoot themselves in the foot for something quippy and smart on the surface but falls apart once you even start to do your own research? I didnt even do anything in-depth I just searched up "vivienne westwood history" and I found out that shit was weird. I didnt even finish the youtube video bc of that.

Aight so another tangent. I have had this website for like... nearing 6 years at this point. as corny as it sounds this website feels like a old friend. Its gone though so many iterations and im surprised that I havent abandoned it let alone made it prestentable. I have never told anybody in real life about it and that was intentional. My logbook entry's can come off as a little too personal for peoples tastes and I feel like if somebody irl knew that I had an aversion to puppy roleplay shit becasue i saw a undertail comic about it one time id shrivel up and die. but IDGAF if any of you know that shit because you dont know me! and i dont know you. I feel like if my irl friends found this website it would feel less like a friend and more like the panopticon. and i think that would make me more likely to abandon it. Before some1 says something like "oh just delete the logbook html files if you're so scared problem solved" but its not JUST that its the scrapbook, its the art that i post, its everything. Everything i would post would have this added layer of "people you know will see this" and shit like that adds up. If that makes any sense. IDK. Maybe im just thinking about this too much. Maybe I should grow a spine and not give a fuck what my irl friends think. Maybe its a little too egotistical to think about myself this much. If only. If only. IF FUCKING ONLY aaaaaAAAAAAA shark week is beating my ass right now I'm not gonna lie. I have too much shit on my mind. I need to be sedated. I need to be old yeller'd. I need my nerves to not be on fire. I need to get my beathing under control.

just cleaned out a bunch of stuff from the 2024 logbook bc sure why not.

For christmas as a treat I bought a chromebook the cheapest one on the market (its refurbished) and I forgot how bad chromeos is bc i havent used a chromebook since i graduated high school. its so restrictive. I'm not going to lie its kinda insulting how hard it is to install other OS on there. Like For my chromebook you had to OPEN IT UP and unplug the battery and run a 3rd party software so it could override the current software and give an actual boot up system that works! Why did they do this? Is it bc they know their OS sucks? who knows I'm not a nerd

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On another note i have made another vcv thing. It is called "Random hitting" and I'm NGL i dont know what im doing in VCV rack.

FUCK YOU ITS JANUARY! last year i went to a new years party! it was cool, I talked to people!!! and i did an all nighter and drew shit when everybody was sleeping just becuase. Anyways i feel my body withering away due to the lack of sleep am going into a deep slumber for a couple of hours. or days.

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