I cant beleive that im 22 and still having to deal with fucking cystic acne. this is bullshit. Anyways i have realised that the scope of my theoretical lisa game is probably too big for me right now. I'm going to think about making something small so i dont bite off more than i can chew

4 years after my files corrupting and me ragequitting out of frustration. i have redownloaded rpg maker vx and now im gonna try and make a lisa fangame.

The course is over... jesus fucking christ that was the longest 12 weeks of my life. Welp. My schedueled socialization period is over time to go back to being a hermit. More updates soon to come maybe. possibly. idk.

Also, the laptops that they use have onedrive on them and past coursemates have been editing their stuff on that onedrive and im thinking that... Is not good. I'm not really sure if the teachers are computer literate because they didnt know how display setting worked. but... IDK i think its only bad if someone whos computer literate and actively malicious joins the course sometime in the future

Hmmmmmmmmmmm... this course is interesting. Idk if i like going to it or not. I also might be opening commisions soonish. becasue I need to get that bag.

oh boy. its my birthday today. goodbye 21 hellooooooo 22. i am now a withered old corpse decomposing into the dirt. feeding mother earth like my body was always ment to. hwatever man idc.

I dunno if this is a hot take or something but i think whatever Tiktok is doing should be like... archived in some way. Like in the way that Tiktok has a big BIG userbase right now and there so much trends coming into being and becoming irrelevent at lightning speeds. I dont really think people really stop to think that any of that slop is useful in anyway but at the same time... its SOMETHING? Like whether it is slop is irrelevent Tiktok is a big part of the interent rn. Like idk its interesting to see how culture and communities act and reacts to trends n shit in the moment. especially in that fastpace enviroment. IDK i think some part of me will be sad that nothing will be catalogued other than saved videos posted on other social media when tiktok crashes and burns. fuck man idc.

So the one thing that I like about instagram is the ads. Like Twitter has obvious crypto scam ads or onlyfans bots, tumblr has shitty mobile game ads, But Instagram? They’ve got the good shit. like I was doomscrolling as usual and saw an ad for beginner corses for fencing in my area! Fucking fencing! I was actually tempted to pay for that shit. Instagram is scary in that regard. im like a moth to flame. I also get ads for underground shows in my area sometimes. I'm kinda scared of the implications that instagram has my location or has permission to not only get my location but to find ads that are catered to my city. whatever man.

Im still flip flopping on whether i should join artfight. im going to consult the 8 ball. tommorow.

I fucking hate this image so bad. It activates something primal in me. like a 5th sense. something that my ancestors in caveman times needed to survive but is wasted on modern man. why does he look human. hes a dog he shouldnt look like that why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

ok then i might not be able to join artfight after all. a thing that i thought that i didnt get into has just messaged me saying that i did and now im gonna be offline for like 9-2 every weekday. idk man im just getting flashbacks from when i was in UNIPREP and a shiver goes down my spine.

also i have found a book that might be useful to me. its called "the secrets to aromatic jewlery" or someshit like that and it might be useful in my perfume bottle endevours. its avalible at a uni library near me but i could also be avalible online in pdf format so ill check that too.

also another thing from my adolesence. back when i was like 14 (around 2015-2016) i would frequent the undertail tag on tumblr. for those of you who dont know, the undertail tag was used for nsfw works for the game undertale. anyways from what i remember fontcest (a term to used for shipping of the three brothers sans, papyrus, and wingdings gaster) was pretty popular and was 70% of the tags content. i didnt really get off to any of that shit it was just a morbid fasination becuase there was so much amazingly weird shit posted on there. i distinctly remember there was somebody who posted drawings about 2 versions of wingdings gaster (a character who's just an easter egg in the game but has a cult following in the fandom) one gaster was normal-ish? and the other had all of his limbs cut off and acted like a dog. slept in a dog bed, wore a collar, i dont know what his mannerisms were but i think he was needy and barked. the only deviation to the dog thing was that the pet gaster had a diaper on that his owner would change. i distincly remember one comic where at first it detailed the normal gaster playing with the dog gaster and taking care of his needs, all is good. but the normal gaster slowly becomes disinterested with the dog gaster while the dog is getting stressed about the lack of attention from his owner. i think theres some pannels where the pet pisses himself and the owner dosent care so he just lays in his own shit and piss. the last pannel is the pet dead from starvation, laying in his dirty dogbed. there was probably more stuff that i encountered on there but that is the one thing i remember. Honestly i miss browsing that tag. fuck the 2018 tumblr porn purge. devestated the ecosystem and now i cant look at fucked up porn from popular fandoms. twitter just dosent hit the same and now likes are disabled so now browsing is way harder. fuck.

Ive been thinking about joining artfight for the first time ever. I never really thought of doing it in the past it was always kinda daunting. Also i didnt have the motivation do any character sheets but... idk something is different this year. I'll whip up some old OCs that ive been cooking in my noggin and make some character sheets for em. Hopefully. Artfight dosent start until next week so I think I have time.

I’m thinking about that one Asian gay guy that’s popular on tiktok for saying/doing stupid shit. I watched a video on him awhile ago that was documenting his escapades and it was just like… people taking him seriously. Like the one video where he said that he’d loved to be abused by white ppl that colonised his homecountry like he said that shit in the most comical and outlandish way possible and people were taking him so seriously, saying shit like “:O Oh my gawsh you can’t say that!,!! People DIED” Like did everybody on that app just forget what trolling was? What ragebait was? Or are they all people whos only interaction with the internet in the 2010s was going onto Facebook and posting life updates to their irl friends? Like do these guys know what Adblock is? Genuine question. like that shit made me click off the video 1/3rd of the way though.

for the first time in my life i have searched up my legal name into google and im hit with a group shot of me and my friends. what the fuck man i look so awkward. my friends are serving cunt and im just there with my shrimp posture. the kinda posture that says "I played LOL for 3 years and fed my enemy every single match"

ok random storytime i remember one time when i was still in uni we had animation critique and this guy was notorious on being like... not harsh but honest and he was the main guy in the animation department. i think i submitted a half animation leg stomp like it was supposed to be a walk cycle but cut in half (that was the animation assignment for the week) and when he was on my one he just looked at it and went "you know... its okay to start over your projects sometimes" and that fucking floored me man he didnt even do it in a overly mean way which was the worst part. its funny as hell looking back on it now. honestly he was right that leg stomp was dogshit.

i remember there used to be a building near my place when i was young it would kinda be a shortcut to the main road. it had these shitty bergundy tiles you know the ones, it was poorly lit so the large ass hallway to the main road was kinda dark, i think there was this sort of christian book place in the middle? the only redeeming quality about that place was that it had a dairy that sold stuff and it was a 30 second walk to it so that was nice. it got demolished years ago and now its replaced with high rise apartments for rich RICH people. but like inspite of how bad i painted that place out to be that the dark ass ominous hallway was always really alluring to me. i think some part of myself is always gonna miss walking in that building..

I just got some aluminum wire from some weilding supplier. there was a warning on the label that says something like "may cause cancer" but from what ive gathered this wire is supposed to be melted so i think its ok to just... be in the presence of it... i hope so. cancer sucks. For one the the wire is much more weaker (as in i can move it easier with my hands) than the wire than im used to. also i think i fucked up becasue Its much more thinner than i thought it would be. ah whatever you live and you learn.

does anybody else get those youtube videos that have something like "[insert video game/movie here] Explained/analysis" and when you watch the video its just the person saying what happens in the media in question beat by beat? like i watched a video about presentable liberty thinking that there was gonna be atleast analysis on the themes of the game but no he just explained everything that happened and nothing else. like presentable liberty is a free game, i could've just downloaded it and played it myself you brang nothing to the table except for your voice. Like the themes are so blatant that the creator is basically bashing you over the head with it but you couldnt take the time out of your day to actually make a video discussing it? cmon its close to veiwfarming at this point. whatever man

I browse the activity page once in awhile and I am flabberghasted at how much teenagers there are here. Not that they shouldnt be here. I was like... 16 turning 17 when I created this website but man. every year im on this site i feel this clip on a more personal level

I know its kinda not that serious that theres people in their 20-30-40-50s here but still...

I just found out if you are on T and pregnant then your fetus wont die but something WILL happen to them in the womb but nobody has gotten to that point. I'm actually kinda curious on what that hypothetical baby would look like. I think my beautiful roid filled baby would look like those inbred dogs that have toad legs.

well ill be damned! as if anything could get any worse my country cut shit like free lunches for children and eco conservation jobs and more renewable energy projects while giving more money to shit like the military. unironically saying shit like "woke foods like sushi" fucks sake nz is governed by a bunch of fucking clowns.

damn its 5 months into the year :I anyways apparently andrew hussie made a game called Psycholonials and it was made 3 YEARS AGO?? how the hell did i not find out about this until now?? until i remembered that 3 years ago was 2021 and this was around febuary which wouldve been arond the time that uniprep was taking up all of my time. it was basically a 9-5 and i could barely keep up i started negleting like showering becasue i was so exhausted i truely felt like this picture.

aight so a couple months ago i went to the library and found this book about movies from the early to mid 20th century and i wrote down most of them but i havent really done jack shit with em until now where i have typed them all out on my puter (there might be spelling errors). anyways im gonna copy and paste the names here and probably watch em sometime in the future.

I decided to make notes on what movies ive found so i dont lose track becasue my brain is fucking stupid and cannot remember thing right

He who gets slapped, The penalty, Outside the law - Found on youtube, added to a playlist that im gonna download l8tr

a blind bargain - currently lost media

The monster, The cabinet of DR Caligari, Nosferatu, The sorrows of satan, The bat, - Found on youtube, added to a playlist

The magician, The cat and the canary - not on youtube borrowed it elsewhere

The terror - the first horror movie with sound! also lost media :(

The man who laughs - JOKER??? THE FUCKING JOKER??? also found on youtube

The unknown, The Road to Mandalay - found on youtube

London after midnight - the ORIGINAL london after midnight! i didnt know that the band was named after a horror film before reading that book... although it makes sense. also this is lost media aswell :(

The unholy three - found on youtube

Dracula - dracula is actually popular somewhat so it wasnt on youtube. i borrowed it elsewhere

James whales Frankenstein - not on youtube

White zombie - another band named after a movie! nice to know metal heads are FUCKING. NERDS. Also found it on youtube

Murders in the rue morgue - found it on youtube

Dr Jekyll and mr hyde - not on youtube

The old dark horse - found it on youtube

Freaks - apparently the original cut is lost media but the cut version is avalible

King kong - got it

The invisible man, Supernatural, - found on the internet archive

Mystery of the wax museum - got it

The mask of fu Manchu - hooooooo this sounds racist and it was made in the 1930's so it probably was.

The mummy - got it

Island of lost souls - got it on the internet archive

The eighth wonder of the world - apparently this is the king kong (1933) movie? fuck man idk what i was thinking when writing this down skipping this one

Theres not alot of commentary bc unlike the 1920 early 1930s the movies in this era is actually documented!

The black cat - got it

Mark of the vampire - got it

The black room - got it

Mad love - got it

The invisible ray - got it

Werewolf of London - got it

Bride of Frankenstein - got it

Dracula’s daughter - got it

Son of Frankenstein - got it

The wolf man - got it

Destry Rides Again - this is a western. i dont know why this is here. i thought this was about horror movies

My little chickadee - yeah this another western? i kinda skimmed the book for movie names and nothing else becasue i dont want spoilers but apparently there were refrences to western movies.

The climax - got it

Phantom of the opera - :O!!!! i know this one!! also got it

Frankenstein meets the wolf man - got it

House of Frankenstein - got it

The mummy’s ghost - got it

House of horrors - got it

the monster and the girl - got it

The mad doctor - got it

Dr cyclops - got it

The ghost breakers - got it

The uninvited - got it

The hydra monster - i havent found anything with the name of that was made in the 1940s but i have found The Human Monster? one of the stars is bela legosi so GOOD ENOUGH

The lodger - got it

Stranger on the third floor - got it

All that money can buy - got it

The picture of dorian grey - oh i vaugely know about this movie

The beast with five fingers - cannot find anywhere to watch this other than dailymotion

The spiral staircase - got it

I walked with a zombie - got it

The lepored man - got it

The curse of the cat people - got it

The body snacher - got it

Isle of the dead - got it

bedlam - got it

People are saying there’s a skill issue in the comments or quotes but She’s right. you don’t learn how to type fast in schools anymore, they just don’t teach you because they expect you to know it because we were the generation that grew up with modern computers. If you’re from this generation you don’t truely learn how to type fast until you can competently get into arguments in the middle of a league game with your teammates while still holding your own in your lane. Had a friend like this and they could type like 250 words per minute. (i did not read the article because im 2 kewl for that btw B) )

.@billieeilish on using the computer: "I never learned to type because I wasn’t that generation, and now I regret it."

🔗 https://t.co/C9wZPMBRlX pic.twitter.com/owzP16x6Xr

— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) April 25, 2024

as you can see from all of the twitter posts Im still on twitter and the shit that i see on my fyp is dumb as fuck like I’m blocking and muting everyone that talks about the trans discourse of the week. All of y’all are high-key annoying as shit. Get a hobby that isn’t doomscrolling on social media or atleast Go outside and feel the sun and wind on your skin for once

I just drank yakult today. I drank it once a long time ago but i thought it just had gotten bad and threw it out but i drank it again today and nope thats just how it tastes. i thought it would taste creamy and like vanilla but it tastes like orange flavored cough syrup. way to fukin sweet and not in a good way. Absolutely disapointed

Anyways I have been looking for books about Chatelaines and the history about them for awhlile now but becasue Chatelaine is also a term that referrs to "The lady of the house" or "The mistress of a chateau" most of the search results were about that. one of the only books that i found that was about the Chatelaine for your belt was a book called Chatelaines: Utility to Glorious Extravagance and that shit costs so much fukin money and theres no pdfs of it online which sucks so as a last ditch effort i search for it in my local library and to my surprise its there im so pumped i cant believe my luck!

I'm currently playing like 4 games at the same time and i dont have the motivation to try and complete any of them - well maybe control but only because I like the architecture and wanna see more of it but fuuuuuuuuck theyre just taking up space in my HDD at this point.

Anyways im thinking of making an actual Chatelaine becasue it looks cool as hell. I'm thinking of making a model in Nomad sculpt and sending it to a 3d printer for hire and printing it as like metal (yeah you can 3d print with metal now how cool is that?) or i could book the 3d printer at my local library, get some supplies and make it the old fashion way (making a mold and pouring some metal in there etc etc) actually no that sounds way too much work im going with the other one.

Gandalfs big naturals is gods greatest gift to mankind. Finally they made boobs FOR MEN

I kinda want to join some webrings on here, like the neocreatives webring would be a good fit. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

I'm always kinda iffy when it comes to cis majority gay male spaces online because they're always gonna be some guy just shitting on pussies. Like i get it you were forced to like women becasue thats what society expects of you and shitting on something that you're supposed to be attracted to feels good or something. but at the same time straight men shit on women (and people they perceive as women) bodies all the time so this isnt groudbreaking stuff you're indulging in (infact i think this is one of the only ways that gay man can conform to society other than being in the closet or being hyper masculine). idk like i joined this discord server about this semi popular horror furry visual novel that had alot of gay men in the cast so the audience was mostly gay men and i remember seeing someone comparing pussies to like... sea monsters in a bad way just casually which like beyond the obvious i dont think ive ever seen an ocean creature that looks like a vagina. If anything ive seen more flowers/plants that look like em. but dicks? i think theres a species of mollusk/oyster/clam that has an appendage that looks like a dick so like... something something throwing stones, glass houses we are all a little fucked up looking. i dunno i know im probably overestimating a small group of people. im pretty sure that the majority of gay men are cool, probably just need to go outside more or something.

I feel fucking insane the webpage that I was working on BlueGriffon is gone Im genuinely pissed i think i might just quit making webpages on bluegriffon

No words can encapulate how i feel about this post. All i know is that I need it on my Neocities webpage

Careful white chocolate…wouldn’t want you to melt pic.twitter.com/0J5PDonRqp

— 🌹🧪OsiriaCorpse🧪🌹comms closed 5/5 (@OsiriaBlood) March 18, 2024

I fucking hate how pararsocial people have become with artists of any variety especially actors. like for example I've been getting tiktoks from fans of the guy that did mocap for astarion from baldurs gate 3 neil newborn and like most of them are fine i guess. the fancams are... weird as shit but there was one tiktok that was a literal creepshot of him just going about his day and the comments were just... thirsting after him and absolutely NOBODY was pointing out how creepy that was?? It sends a shiver down my spine everytime i think about it. It might just be a tiktok thing... man i need to delete that app.

not gonna lie, i kinda hate everything right now but i especially hate the fucker that gave me this illness i havent had a good nights rest in 2 days and im constantly afraid of vomiting up whatever i just ate. anyway before this illness got really bad i watched poor things because i think its out on streaming services. the torrent site that i got it from had like dozens of comments just shitting on this movie which is kinda surprising because the comment section is empty most of the time. i thought it was... interesting i liked the art nouveau inspired architecture.

Not havin a good day 2day, i just woke up and have a dry throat. I'm hoping that just drinking alot of hot tea will make it go away and its not something bigger that will leave me bedridden.

I just found this album on my youtube recommended page and i thought it was pretty good. very nice soundsssss check it out if you're into that thing

also on the topic of nice sounds i found this game dev thats makin this game called Hibernaculum and the music fucks imo . also i think the music is made with this?

Ive been meaning to buy n play primordia for a long ass time bc i thought the cover art looked cool so yeah.

I'm always kinda conflicted when it comes to my art style and what way i want to go with it. like i know its kinda generic to say it but im always inspired by either rendered works that use color beautifully or illustrations with varied/stylistic lineart that looks amazing and honestly in my personal work I dont know how to incorporate both of those aspects at the same time. I found this cyberpunk 2077 comic awhile back that kinda had this aspect and did a pretty good job with it. the comic is called Cyberpunk 2077 - XOXO if you wanna look at it and the artist that made most of the artwork is Jakub Rebelka. Thats the kinda stuff that I think would be cool to create but i also dont wanna just rip off their artwork so uh... I dunno

for like 2 months now ive been getting into bandcamp bc Its the only music platform that plays out of the app on the ipad so i can draw while lisening to music and dosent bombard you with ads like an utter fucking dick. Anyways heres some of my favs:

Okay so Acheivement i havent really listened to that much but I remember replaying it over and over again on youtube when I was a teen. It emanates a feeling that I dont know how to describe

I feel like I've squandered alot of my time ever since i graduated. Alot of the people that I graduated with moved out of their parents home immediately after, either in flats or in dorms and now they are actual functional members of society and know how to take care of themselves. and like I know how to take care of myself i know how to do my own laundry, i know how to cook, n shit im not a 12 year old but… I dont know I think theres something that you get when you move out. I dunno man I feel like I take mental damage the fact that I have to deal with my family (except for my dad and my little brother… actually no hes got anger issues and smashes shit when hes angry so just my dad, fuck) I just want to move out to a cheap apartment so i can be alone for the first time in my godamn life why is that so much to ask? why is everywhere so goddamn expensive without roommates? why is everything 400-1200$ PER WEEK? uhm anyways enough of the melodramatic whining now i gotta lay out some TRUE problems

what the hell do they put in cosco detergents? I swear to god that shits actually dangerous. I have some washing machine pods and if i dont put it in a container and i smell them for like 1-5 seconds or something it gives me a really bad headache. I also put some those laundry pellet things uncovered in my bedroom like a while ago and it made me incredibly ill for like 3 days until I figured out that it was the problem and threw them out. like i couldnt eat because the sight of food made me vomit. like the fuck? I dont get this kinda reaction from normal detergents from my local supermarket. I do not trust cosco one single bit I have no clue why my mom goes to that place. she has some really weird brand loyalty mindset. like i think my brother once got a job at a cookie factory and for months she would always get that brand of cookies that they made in that factory. it actually makes me sick that shes loyal to corporations like that.

Okay so I know that genderbending characters is mostly taboo among certian circles on the internet (which is honestly fair) but me personally I love the concept of genderbending. like seeing how people react diffrently if the character was a man/woman is so facinating but i understand the distain for it. alot of the time when genderbent stuff is created its the most shallow thing possible and just holds up traditional beauty standards. especially if its a boy getting genderbent into a girl, becasue most of the time men are designed very uniquely and when you see a genderbent version of them every single unique thing that they had going on in their character design is sanded off and replaced with an hourglass figure and big ass doe eyes and a plastic-esque face it just pisses me off man! Wheres the flavor??? I also think this outlines a big ass problem with designing women in general but that story has been done to death

Ive been making Chainmail jewellery again and one thing I’ve realised is that the wire I’ve been buying at my local Bunnings is actually really bad for jewellery. Like it rusts n turns grey only after a few wears because I secrete oil a lot like any normal human does and the dirt clings onto it and makes it gross as fuck. So I’ve been looking for some other wires that’ll be better for me and I have found one! It’s stainless steel I think? The label is in French so uh… I dunno what it says honestly. Buuut I’ve made a Byzantine weave necklace and it’s keeping up pretty well! Like I’ve worn in a couple times outside and it hasn’t tarnished a bit! Pretty good wire 10/10. Although the one downside is that it’s expensive as fuck like the 20 gauge wire that I used for the necklace cost 8 dollars for 1/3rd of the amount of wire I would get compared to the other wire I would get but i guess you get what you pay for. Also the thicker wire is strong as hell, like making the jump rings (wrapping the wire around a mandrel and cutting em) is exceptionally more hard to do like I have to cut that shit with 2 hands and it hurts my palm. I’m thinking of finding something less strenuous on my hands to cut the thicker jump rings.

I have re-watched this video atleast a dozen times

WIZARD BEER pic.twitter.com/rjxRQrKCgg

— Worthi 🦇 (@Worthikids) January 19, 2024

Also I have just realised that twitter has changed how they embed their posts/videos and that the twitter posts on the art resources page dont work... Damn maybe ill revive them in the future, maybe not.

Edit: okay then nevermind looks like twitter posts just dont work on libre wolf specifically :c

For a couple of months Ive been searching for a perfume bottle specifically one that was made for a chatelaine. Not because i have a chatelaine but because i wanna make it into a necklace, i think with the right one it would FUCK... or maybe im delusional IDK. I was pretty optimistic at the start, It's just a small perfume bottle! how expensive could they be? What a fool I was. After going on etsy, ebay, and facebook marketplace I was flabberghasted with the prices of these perfume bottles. I saw one that was the size of a dime that cost 500 dollars. 500 DOLLARS! the audacity! it wasnt even that detailed. anyways after scouring those places for a couple of months and being constantly disappointed with the prices I either had 2 options. 1. suck up my pride and spend half a grand (not including shipping) on a small empty perfume bottle or 2. admit defeat. After mulling over these options for a bit I found it, a listing in my local countries online marketplace for a silver perfume bottle for 50 dollars. I mean 50 dollars is still alot but anything that isnt over 500 is a blessing and knowing my luck on that website it wouldve been sold if i went to bed to think about it the next day so i immediately bought it. It should be here tommorow. hopefully. the shipping said that its gonna be here tommorow.

Another thing, after making this logbook ive been kinda worried about not divulging too much irl information on this page. I mean realistically nobody gives a fuck and im just shouting in the void but what happenes if i make something in the future that makes this page semi popular and with just the shit that I talk about here somebody can find where I live or who my family members are? (I mean not the previous posts but like, hypothetical future posts that reveal more about my life than I ever predicted it would). or maybe im just being paranoid who knows

FUCK YOU ITS JANUARY! Happy goddamn new year! honestly looking back at 2023 its been... weird, like theres alot of things that i didnt manage to do last year but there was also alot of other stuff that I got done that i wouldnt of even dreamt about. For one im much more financially stable and ive managed to replace some of the outdated tech that ive been using for years now, so thats good. also becuase i have more money so i dont have to micromanage all of my expenses. i used to constantly worry about how much money i had for food and it feels good to just not worry about that anymore

anyways uhhh my new years resolution is to once again get gud at drawing shit because honestly im still kinda mediocre

-

also I think my pc is infected with something? Ive had this suspicion for like awhile since novemeber but honestly i didnt really give much of a shit. I think the culprit was the time i tried to find some kind of ps4 emulator. stupid I know but I was really really desperate to play bloodborne on pc, I shouldve known better when the downloads page had those "complete these surveys so you can get the download link" kinda scam bullshit that I would see on hilariously fake "free AJ membership" websites back in the day but oh... the allure of bloodborne on pc was like a sirens call to my ears that left me without reason. Anyways i should probably run a system scan and see if that flushes anything out or nuking my computer and starting over fresh always works